It’s a new year and time for new resolutions. This year I only want one thing: the old me back. Pre-baby Chelsea was able to stay at work later, see friends more often and enjoy a few drinks, sing karaoke until closing hours, and travel out of town anytime she wanted. Post-baby Chelsea lies awake at night making her to-do list of everything she forgot to do at work, keeps in touch with friends via snap chats, and can barely find time to bathe alone.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother. I love Gray Baby so much I cry sometimes. Just yesterday, she had a very bad teething day and I got the chance to hold her and rock her while she gave me kisses on my nose. I felt a true sense of happiness in those moments. On the flip side, motherhood steals me of my energy and happiness because I feel the need to be the old me and new me wrapped in one.
I’m tired of the current Chelsea. My current day-to-day emotions and attitude should not be the norm. I realized that this year I need to find a compromise between the two versions of me and this is exactly how I’m going to do it.
Say no more.
While I was pregnant with Gray I kept my regular schedule and responsibilities. This included serving leadership roles for several local organizations and giving my time every weekend. I was able to carve out two free weekends before my due date, but then she came three weeks early so that was a bust. My doctor had to tell me numerous times to slow down and at one point I was put on modified bed rest. I have built a stronger backbone since giving birth to Gray and need to continue to do so this year since baby #2 will be here in July. It’s hard to say no when I’m so used to being the yes person people depend on so much. However, my health and my sanity aren’t worth it. I want to enjoy free time like the pre-baby Chelsea would and not feel guilty for doing so.
Say yes more.
But I just said I needed to say no more? On the flip side, I am going to answer yes when people offer to help. Whether it’s taking Gray for a few hours or extra assistance on a work project or an offer to grab me some food, I am going to say yes. Having the power to say yes to help will free up my schedule and my stress level.
Stop the mom guilt.
I feel like a crappy mom on a daily basis. Gray LOVES daycare. Despite this, every now and then I feel guilty when I glance on social media and see moms taking their kids to the zoo on a weekday. I’m not sure why I would ever feel guilty about working because I’m not cut out to be a SAHM and I’ve come to terms with it. I feel pangs of guilt when I give her a slice of pizza for dinner because it’s easy or put her in the play pen in order to get laundry folded. This year I am going to ask myself whether Gray is hurting or suffering in any way when I feel guilty. If the answer is no, then I’m moving forward!
Discover a solo hobby and make it a priority.
Awww, the blissful memory called alone time. I used to experience it. I would go to Sephora and Ulta and spend hours shopping for makeup. Other times I would read an entire book in a day. While I don’t have those luxuries anymore, I need to make time for something I enjoy and I need to make it a priority. My first hobby of choice is going to be walking. I used to run and loved how I felt afterwards. While baby #2 is currently kicking my butt, I know I would feel better just from walking and listening to music. This simple act will clear my mind and keep my healthy. My next hobby I want to try out is bullet journaling!
Limit social media time.
I’ve noticed that at night when my husband and I are in bed there is a glow above our heads from both of our phones. First thing I do when I wake up? Check Instagram and Facebook. The amount of time I spend on social media is ridiculous when I am reminded that during that time I could be resting or spending time with my family. I went ahead and deleted my Facebook app and moved my Instagram app to a random folder on my phone. I plan on using my daily lunch time or bath time as allowed check-in times for social media. Anything more than that is obsessive on my end.