My love story is not your typical boy meets girl kind of story. I was the girl who was always awkward around boys. I never knew how to talk to them. I had very few guy friends in high school and not too many more in college. I never knew how to be a friend to a guy. Awkward, introverted, and shy: That was me! However, I do like to challenge those traits in myself and can get out my comfort zone. In fact, if you’re around me with a group of people whom I know very well, none of those traits would come to mind.
I graduated college and moved to Nashville, where I made many new friends and had some great experiences, but I was still a little awkward around the opposite sex. It was at that point that I realized that while I was mostly confident with myself and knew who I was as a person, I did not know what I wanted in a relationship.
I have never been a bar hopping kind of gal or a flirtatious one, so I decided to go the avenue of online dating. I honestly didn’t even choose to do this because I wanted to find the “one.” I wanted to figure out what I wanted in a relationship. Since this is a post about love, then you know where this is going…here are a few lessons I learned along the dating journey:
There is always room to learn more about yourself.
Keep an open mind. The “one” for you may not always be the guy that was in your dreams. He will be more!
Don’t lower your standards or settle. You are worth more than silver and gold. You deserve to have someone that will treat you like you are worth more than silver and gold!
Accept your friends and family for who they are, no matter what you want them to be. The things you find a little annoying or “cute” when you are dating, will not likely go away and will probably not be cute the longer you are together. Love is about grace and forgiveness.
Know that sometimes “He’s Just Not That Into You” (great movie if you like chick flicks!). Sometimes you will like a guy and he won’t like you and sometimes a guy will like you and you will not like him. Nothing personal. That’s just life.
Take a chance. Many times the chance is worth it. My latest favorite saying is, “The answer is always no if you never ask.”
As you probably guessed, I met my husband through an online dating site. I followed all the questions and guidelines set by E-harmony. I dated about three guys briefly before I met my now husband. We communicated through E-harmony for about three or four months, and then we talked on the phone for another two months, before we ever met in person!
It was never uncomfortable and we never seemed to run out of things to say to each other. I had never had that feeling before.
I moved to Chattanooga after about nine months of “real” dating to be closer to him. I took that chance. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. Everybody thought I was crazy to move for a boy, and perhaps I was, but in that first year in Chattanooga, he was my constant and among other bad situations at that time and moving to a new city, he was the one positive constant. He was always there for me.
That was 2007; we were married January 2010, and now have two kids and a dog. 🙂