We all have those moments in mommyhood where we question ourselves. Did I give the right advice? Did I give the right punishment for the crime? Am I holding my kids’ hand too much or not enough? For me lately the question has been, “Am I really qualified for parenthood and all it entails?”
Being a parent includes a variety of roles that I am not sure I am qualified to fill, such as:
Role #1: “The Assistant”
A shout out to all the real assistants actually getting paid for their assistant role. I can tell you right now, you don’t get paid enough. Of course, you get paid more than me because I get paid with absolutely nothing. (Although people say I will see the fruits of my labor down the road.)
But, I just do not have the best personality for being my children’s assistant. First, there is the holding of items when we go somewhere. Nowadays the size of the purse (if you can even call it that) is insane. I might as well bring a carry-on bag with everything I have to hold while we are out and about.
Secondly, there is the getting of things. I swear, as soon as I sit down, someone needs something. Someone is hungry. Someone is thirsty. Someone needs to be taken somewhere. Someone needs a shirt cleaned. Someone is thirsty again. Someone is hungry again. The list goes on and on and on and on. I am just waiting for my assistant to show up!
Role #2: “The Therapist”
I am pretty sure I earned a C in psychology. And, really, would you want to take advice from just an average therapist? Chances are you want someone who scored all As giving you advice. But, here I am, my average self, giving advice to my children and other moms. Boy problems, money problems, attitude problems, self-doubt problems, etc. There are 99 problems and I probably can even think of 99 more.
Role #3: “The Judge”
Truth be told, I am in no place to judge anyone. Thank goodness social media wasn’t around when I was growing up. If you knew me back in the day, hush. LOL. So, when my children have committed a crime, am I really the best one to be giving the sentence when I have either done the same thing or worse?
Role #4: “The Chef”
I don’t even know what to say about this role. First, I am a horrible cook. (Seriously, ask my family.) Second, between work, making sure the kids have everything they need, laundry, etc., why would I want to slave over the stove for hours cooking a meal my children probably won’t eat? Yes, the amount of money I am spending grabbing something on the go or having food delivered is insane, but I would rather work an extra hour and not have to cook. Does that make me crazy?
Role #5: “The Maid”
When it was just me and my West Highland Terrier, I was awesome at clean up. But now that we are a family of six? Yup, let’s just skip over this one. I am a great surface cleaner, as my mom would say. Deep cleaner? Not so much. Therefore, I once again work that extra hour or so to have someone come and help me clean my house. Sorry, not sorry.