The Small People are NOT a Small Thing!
I am a small things girl. I am great with details, the finishing touches, and the final look over. My drawers, even my junk drawer, are organized; different drawers and shelves in my refrigerator are for different things; ALL four of my boys’ clothes are ROYGBIV organized; and I can’t stand SAND (it must be the floor covering in hell; after all, sand is found in the hottest of places from the sand box, on my feet or floors). The little things, the details — like dusting above your cabinets in the kitchen, or hosing off your intake vent, and yes even moving furniture to dust the base boards — happen in my house.
I have always been great at not letting the small things slip through the cracks. But what about the small people?
Do my small PEOPLE care about the small THINGS? Do they care if we had a made from scratch dinner? Do they care if their clothes are ROYGBIV? Does the sand on their feet send chills up their spines? NOPE!!! NO!! NOT FOR A SECOND!
My family just bought our very first home. We doubled in size both inside and out, and our family has doubled in size from the day we moved into our rental here in Chattanooga 3.5 years ago until recently, when we moved into this house. The small list of things “to do” isn’t small anymore and keeps compounding. I am still a small stuff girl, but my focus has shifted in this move to the small people. I realized that the list of small things was taking over my attention and my small people were losing their mom to her things.
So my focus began to shift.
I was talking to a seasoned mama who asked me what we had planned for this summer. I laughed and said “I plan to spend each day focusing on each of my children and raising them with Godly character.” She didn’t expect me to say that. She was asking if we had any vacations planned, but I meant to answer her the way I did. You see, I do not want my family, my summers, or my children to grow up and be defined by the “things” we do; I want them to grow into Godly MEN. So in the next 20 summers I have, that is where my focus will be.
My fourth baby is 5.5 years younger than my first baby. We have a band of brothers and the adventures are endless. This is the life I chose. I did not “accidentally” have four children. I do not wish that any of them were girls, and no, we have never “tried” for a certain gender. Ok… Now that we have that cleared up, let’s get back to the small people whom I love so much and how I am intentionally focusing on them.
I know what you are thinking: Doesn’t my every breath (almost) require emphasis on them? And the answer is YES! Yes, it does! But I have had a change in focus; I am still meeting their needs, but I am focusing on creating and cultivating MEN. My little boys will only be boys for up to 20% of their lives. For 80% they will be MEN.
Good news: I have had a life full of fantastic men. My dad is the most fantastic man that has ever influenced my life. My guy friends growing up were always respectful and treated girls with kindness and appreciation. I married a husband who loves me where I am and encourages me to keep changing and growing into the best woman I can be. So these small people, the little boys in my house that are going to be MEN — I am focusing on them. Some days the time ticks by slowly and other days seem to fly by. I cherish these babies and little boys, but what joy it will be to see them as MEN.
We are talking about respect. We are practicing using our words wisely. We are apologizing when we mess up. We are cultivating integrity and biblical truth in their hearts and minds. We are not rewarding them for what they do, but for who they are. There is a much bigger celebration when the truth is told than when a goal is scored. The things these little boys do will bleed into the MEN they become, so I am shifting focus from small things, to small people.
God wired me to be a small things girl. He loves attention to detail and gives so much thought to the details he gives each of us uniquely. He blessed me with four small people who are unique and growing. So I am changing my focus from the small things to the small people, in order to raise warriors of integrity, lovers of biblical truth, and MEN of character.